Or an alternative title could be: If you're gonna be dumb you better be tough.

I posted pics of me and my hiking partner at the summit. In reality getting to the summit wasn't that hard. Getting back to the parking lot was. I should have posted pics of me getting into a rented Toyota Camry for the money shot.
We started out 8/17 and climbed to Trail Camp. Spent the night. Got up at 3am and arrived at the summit by 8:30am.
Here is a list of stupid things that I did that I would for differently next time:
Whiskey; I brought along an 8oz flask of fine bourbon. I suppose a little nip at trail camp would have been fine but 3-4oz of high octane brown liquor probably wasn't the smartest move. If I'd replaced that with 8oz of sports drink powder with electrolyte replacement I would have been a lot better off.
Water: I carried too much water. We had a filter unit so there was no need to carry more water than would get us to the next water source.
Bravado & pace; One of my partners was struggling within 30 minutes of leaving the portal. So we moved about 15lbs of his stuff to my pack and I carried it up and kept the crazy fast pace to Trail Camp. We should have just slowed down. But we couldn't because we left too late.
Start time; we left Vegas at 8am and stopped to eat along the way. We should have left Vegas at 5am and started the hike three hours earlier. All of our nutrition and gear should have been packed and ready to go so we didn't waste time in Lone Pine buying stuff and the portal parking arranging stuff.
Trekking poles; We didn't have any and on the way up I don't think we really needed them. On the way down my legs took a pounding that could have been avoided with poles.
Nutrition; We simply didn't have enough calories to keep up with what we were burning. The day before I was more in WAG bag avoidance eating mode than I need to get 7,000 calories in me mode. I ended up using the bag anyway (an unforgettable experience) If I were to do it again I would eat a lot before the start and bring; an electrolyte replacement (salt tablets, soy packets, sports drink powder) and about twice as much energy dense foods.
Altitude; I live at 13 feet ASL in Florida. We did one hike up to the top of cathedral rock outside of Las Vegas to test the gear and see how altitude felt. Day of the trip we drove straight to the portal, strapped our gear on and did a fast pace to Trail Camp @ 12,000ft. And for that lack of prep I suffered headaches, nausea, lack of focus and some of the craziest, trippy hallucinations I've ever experienced.
Hopefully some other first timer reads this and learns a few things from my mistakes.
Ordering three McDonalds meals at the bottom in Lone Pine guilt free and dusting everything with even more salt was an amazing experience.