And I can TOTALLY picture Terry in a blond wig with a surfboard under his arm wagging his hand in the hang10 sign...
Well Chris, the will is certainly there but it's physiologically impossible. Hang Nine-and-a-Half is do-able, though. Poor Terry managed to slice off half of his thumb with a mitre saw about a year ago while building some cabinetry in his garage. Like most drama surrounding Terry, this was of his own making. Takes the guy a while to figure out what the hell that object was that came flying out of his last cut, and finally sees his thumb stuck to the ceiling.
Nonplussed, but calm, Terry goes in and tells his wife Amanda, "Hey baby, I know you got stuff to do, but we need to like, go to the hospital." He holds his hand up and she naturally freaks out. A devout power tool aficionado, while Amanda is running around finding purse and car keys, Terry goes back out to the garage and turns off his saw. Even takes the time to put the cover on. He babies his tools, but can the guy remember to maybe take his own damn thumb with him to the hospital? Hell no. Sooooo Terry.
Of course, once they get to the ER the doc wants the thumb for possible re-attachment. Terry has one of those, "I could'a had a V-8!" moments, and calls a buddy, Keith. He calmly explains the situation and asks Keith to run by his house to pick up the thumb and bring it to the hospital. "Seriously?" Keith asks. "You want me to go get your thumb and bring it to you? You're not f@#&ing with me?"
"Yeah dude. The doc like, ya know, needs it. Dude says put it on ice. Can you do it for me dude? I'd be like, ya know, really grateful. Dude, it's worth like, ya know, a 20 year-old bottle of scotch or somethin', OK? Just put the damn thing on ice like the dude said, OK? You're like, da
man, dude!"
So Keith retrieves the thumb off the ceiling and finds his way to the hospital ER to deliver it. The problem is that Keith is a Type-A over-achiever. Tell him you need a tree-house built, you'll get a Swiss Family Robinson arboreum. Ask him to chill half a thumb for a 20-minute drive, he'll put the damn thing on dry ice. If you're not aware, dry ice is
way colder than ice - at about fifty degrees below zero. But Keith is bound and determined that Terry's thumb is, by God, gonna be nice and cold for the doc-dude. Frozen solid and ruined, as it turns out. No re-attachment for Terry, and no 20 YO scotch for Keith. Terry said the doctor was absolutely incredulous when he opened the cooler (a fish bait cooler, at that - thanks, dude) and found the severed thumb 100% frostbitten on the dry ice.
But hey, that's the kinda crap that seems to only happen to Terry. Sorry to drift so far off topic, Chris, but your "Hang Ten" comment immediately percolated that story up in my memory, and I thought you'd appreciate it. Got to hear Terry tell that for the umpteenth time last week, so it was fresh.
