"...I threw the stack of mail - which included a fairly heavy express package - on top of the little $H%T and proceeded to jump up and down on him with both feet, cursing at the top of my lungs, till I had a nice red mess. To this day I wonder what the neighbors must have thought..."
Bulldog34, great story!
I got a visual. I would do the same thing maybe with a few more expletives!

Glad you made it to the game!